I was raped by Mr. Mistoffelees.

I never thought I would laugh so hard at a puppet vomiting. “Team America” is genius. “Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events” would be more beautiful than Burton if it didn’t borrow so heavily from him. Strong Edward Scissorhands, Sleepy Hollow and Big Fish feel, also heavy Edward Gorey in the divine title and credits animations. Sets, costumes, makeup, lighting. Beautiful. Loved it. And yet I can’t stand Jim Carey. Isn’t it ironic?
Spent the night round Juuules’. Lots of fahitas. Found out the hard way that you can’t see a film at the cinema if its not released for another 2 weeks.
No money but good times. Conjured up plans for free, UK based holidays sometime in the summer.
Nearly fell asleep on the train on the way home from work today. It’ll take a lot for me to see London as anything but a rut over the summer. R.Crumb, Frida Kahlo, OBEY and Ives Klein shows to look forward to though. Saw a girl with 10 Eiffel Towers tattooed side-by-side around her ankle beneath larger Gothic window frames and a smoking oracle on the back of her hand. By far the weirdest tattoo I’ve ever seen.

“I’m married but I have hope my wife will be dead by now … So I need a housekeeper!”
Seventh Seal.

I fought the council, and I won …

Famous last words? Maybe not. I haven’t quite been myself recently. I got word of a 12m mobile phone transmitter being built on the street infront of the park next to my house so I decided, on the spur of the moment, to fight the council. With the help of my neighbour. 1100 printed petition letters and 900+ letterboxes later we appear to have won a small victory. The council sources say they’ve received 180 letters of objection so far and will probably have to refuse planning permission. Thats without them knowing about the 200 odd signatures we picked up today from the schools and shops … ‘people power’ they’re muttering. I wrote a particularly cunning letter to the council today that logically, reasonably and coherently, attacks them from all sides, often using their own words against them. This is what happens when a guy has a bit of free time, a full ink cartridge, a stack of paper and no sex.
Saw Louis Theroux and Terry Gilliam in the National Gallery. Louis is taller than me and Terry has keen, mischievous eyes and a mohican mullet. Cornelia Parker lecture round two was as enjoyable as the first, and I’m going to check out the OBEY show at Phonica Records next week. Apart from that. Same old. Same old.
If you like that little air-powered asian guy who moons people from the window of your car then you might like to play this little adventure – [http://www.page.sannet.ne.jp/akira-iga/survivoo/index.html]

“Be prepared to appreciate what you meet”. Frank Herbert

New York Tribune! New York Tribune!

Went to the staff night at the National Gallery. Two hours of free red wine. Standing in one of the packed galleries surrounded by near-priceless works of art was a bit of a mind bender for me, but Auzzie waitresses constantly took my glass away when it was empty and replaced it with a full one. Very dangerous. I threw up in the urinal of a pub on Trafalgar Square, ran to Waterloo only to make it onto a train to throw up again on the packed carriage. I don’t think many people on that train liked me.
Saturday at work was amusing for all who encountered me. Selling audio guides be damned. The day actually went very quickly as it took all my concentration not to throw up.
Finished the Choral gig posters/flyers/tix now onto the ‘Backdoor’ clubnight ones. Thinking of ‘quoting’ that big Magritte poster Aynsley’s got in her room.
The weather’s fucking with all the foreigners. They’re all getting colds and hayfever coz they cant hack the pace at which the weather’s changing on an hourly basis. And they all hate London. I empathise.
I’m bored and this is a boring entry. “Dr Tatiana’s Sex Advice To All Creation” on Ch4 has been quite enjoyable, although I’m not sure how much I’d like it if the Dr in question wasn’t a dirty-thirty in a mini-skirt. Here’s a snippet and a link to the microsite – checkout the penises;

“Like many marine mammals, including the whales, dolphin courtship and lovemaking are hardly private affairs. The rest of the gang always wants to join in – or at least have a good look. The bottle-nosed dolphin is broad-minded in its choice of sex partners. Males are frequently sighted copulating with turtles (they insert their penises into the soft tissues at the back of their victim’s shell), with sharks, and even with eels (when a dolphin’s penis is erect is has a hook on the end, and many a male will use it to hook a writhing, struggling eel). So it should be no surprise that males also copulate with each other, inserting their penises into each other’s genital slits. The Amazon river dolphin, or boto, sometimes goes further, penetrating another dolphin’s blowhole.”
[http://www.channel4.com/science/microsites/K/kamasutra/tat.html]